The "joke" thread

This is a thread for jokes.





Here's mine (if your willing to read it all):


This is the story of the pink gorilla. There’s these two guys. They’re both teachers, and they work at the same school. One is an Anthropology teacher. The other is a Historian. They are both given a sabbatical. For those of you who don’t know, a sabbatical is a paid vacation for teachers. They are paid to take time off teaching, but they have to do research to better their knowledge, to better their teaching. Got it? Good. So, both teachers are given a sabbatical. And, they’re very good friends. So, they decide, on this sabbatical they will travel to far reaches of Africa to do some History research and some Anthropology research (Anthropology is the study of human nature). They decide that’s what they’re going to do. So, they go running down the stairs in their apartment building. *clop-clop-clop-clop* They get into a taxi-cab. *err…err….err* They get to the airport. They go through security. *beep-beep-beep-beep* And all that stuff, you know? They get on the plane. *woosh* Now they’re in Africa. They get off the plane. They get on a little plane. *pt..pt…pt…pt* They fly over this tiny little village. The get off the tiny little plane, and there’s this Jeep waiting right there for them – with their name on it. So, they get in the Jeep. *zh-zhoom* And they start driving down the road. They’re going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…They’re seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. Then, they get to this little pygmy village. So, they get out and ask the pygmies, “What is something just great to see here, where we are?” They say, “Well, our rather hit attraction would be a pink gorilla.” “A pink gorilla?! No way! You’re totally lying!” The pygmies are like, “No, actually you just go down this road, take a left turn, then turn right into a big cave.” So, they get back in the Jeep (which starts right up). *zhoom* So they’re going down the road; they’re going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…They’re seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. They make their left turn. They’re still going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…They’re seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. They get to this cave! It’s got this giant steel door. So they open the steel door. There’s this big wooden door. They open the wooden door. There’s another wooden door. They open that wooden door. There’s this long row of colored doors – orange, purple, pink, chartreuse, salmon, every color you could ever think of. So, they start going through all these doors. They’re going open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close. They get through all the doors. There’s a big pool of water, and right next to it is some scuba gear. So they put on the scuba gear and dive in. So, they’re swimming….swim, swim, swim…..deep water…..swim, swim, swim….very deep water….swim, swim, swim….very, very deep water….Finally, they see another way out, so they swim towards that and get out of the water. They see the pink gorilla! And all it’s doing is sitting there, completely still. And so, they’re observing the pink gorilla. They’re taking pictures of it. They’re writing down every move he makes – which isn’t very many ’cause all he’s doing is sitting there, completely still. It’s kinda boring, but hey – it’s a pink gorilla! The entire time they’re watching the pink gorilla, there’s one little thing the pygmies said that keeps flashing through they’re mind. “Don’t touch the pink gorilla.” Now, they’re like, “Why can’t we touch the pink gorilla? All he’s doing is sitting there, completely still.” But, the Historian was rather smart. The Anthropologist, on the other hand, was like I wish I could get my hands on this thing. I could make a lot of money! So, the Anthropologist walks up and he’s about to touch the pink gorilla. And the other guy grabs his hand and says, “No! You heard what the pygmies said, ‘Don’t touch the pink gorilla.’” But, the Anthropologist is just like, “What could it do?” The Historian manages to talk him out of touching it, and they keep taking pictures and writing notes about it’s behavior – but there aren’t very many ’cause all it’s doing is sitting there, completely still. Finally, they’re ready to leave. They put the scuba gear back on, and get back in the water. So, they’re swimming again….swim, swim, swim…..very, very deep water…..swim, swim, swim….very deep water….swim, swim, swim….deep water….Finally, they see original surface, so they swim towards that and get out of the water. They start going through all the colored doors – orange, purple, pink, chartreuse, salmon, every color you could ever think of. So, they start going through all these doors. They’re going open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open and close wooden door, open and close second wooden door, open and close steel door. They get in the Jeep, and it starts right up. *zhoom* They’re going down the road; they’re going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…They’re seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. They make their turn. They’re still going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…They’re seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. They go through the pygmy village. They get to the little airport, get on the little plane. *pt..pt…pt…pt* It takes them to the bigger airport; they get on the bigger plane. *woosh* They get to back to the airport near home. They hail in a cab. They get in the cab. *err…err….err* They go up the stairs in the apartment building. *clop-clop-clop-clop* They’re home!

Well, the next semester, the Anthropologist, who is the more gutsy of the two, is awarded another sabbatical. So, in his devious mind he’s thinking haha! I’m going to return to Africa, capture the pink gorilla, and make millions of dollars!
So, he goes running down the stairs in the apartment building. *clop-clop-clop-clop* He gets into a taxi-cab. *err…err….err* He gets to the airport. He goes through security. *beep-beep-beep-beep* And all that stuff, you know? He gets on the plane. *woosh* Now he’s in Africa. He gets off the plane. He gets on a little plane. *pt..pt…pt…pt* He flies over this tiny little village. He gets off the tiny little plane, and there’s this Jeep waiting right there for him – with his name on it. So, he gets in the Jeep. *zh-zhoom* And he starts driving down the road. He’s going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. He goes straight past the pygmy village. After all, he already knows where he’s going. So he’s going down the road; he’s going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. He makes the left turn. He’s still going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. He gets to the cave! He opens the steel door. He opens the big wooden door. He opens the second wooden door. He goes through all the colored doors – orange, purple, pink, chartreuse, salmon, every color you could ever think of. So, he’s going through all these doors. He’s going open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close. He gets through all the doors. He puts on the scuba gear and dives into the water. So, he’s swimming….swim, swim, swim…..deep water…..swim, swim, swim….very deep water….swim, swim, swim….very, very deep water….He gets out of the water. Okay…I’ve got to get this thing out of here. So, he reaches out towards the gorilla. The whole time the pygmies’ warning is playing in the back of his mind. Don’t touch the pink gorilla. He hesitates. And the he touches the pink gorilla! The pink gorilla goes mad. He’s like tearing the place apart! The guy screams. So, he throws on the scuba gear and jumps back into the water…..swim, swim, swim…..very, very deep water…..swim, swim, swim….very deep water….swim, swim, swim….deep water….The pink gorilla’s swimming behind him! Finally, he gets out of the water. He starts going through all the colored doors – orange, purple, pink, chartreuse, salmon, every color you could ever think of. So, he’s going through all these doors. He’s going open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open and close wooden door, open and close second wooden door, open and close steel door. The pink gorilla is just bashing through all the doors. He jumps in the Jeep, and it starts right up. *zhoom* He’s going down the road; he’s going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…he’s seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. The pink gorilla is just running along right behind him. He makes the turn. The gorilla turns, too. He’s still going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…he’s seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. The pink gorilla is just running along right behind him. They go through the pygmy village. The pygmies are like, “haha! We told you not to touch it!” He’s still going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…he’s seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of – including a pink gorilla in the rear-view mirror. The pink gorilla is just running along right behind him. And all of sudden…the car sputters to a stop. So the guy jumps out of the car and starts running. He’s going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…he’s seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. The pink gorilla is running along right behind him going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…Finally, the guy collapses. He just can’t run any farther. He’s just like, “Whatever you do, just kill me quickly.” The gorilla walks up to him, reaches down, touches the guy, and says, “Tag! You’re it!” and runs off down the road....... There's no character limit, is there?

Fleshandbone wrote:

This is the story of the pink gorilla. There’s these two guys. They’re both teachers, and they work at the same school. One is an Anthropology teacher. The other is a Historian. They are both given a sabbatical. For those of you who don’t know, a sabbatical is a paid vacation for teachers. They are paid to take time off teaching, but they have to do research to better their knowledge, to better their teaching. Got it? Good. So, both teachers are given a sabbatical. And, they’re very good friends. So, they decide, on this sabbatical they will travel to far reaches of Africa to do some History research and some Anthropology research (Anthropology is the study of human nature). They decide that’s what they’re going to do. So, they go running down the stairs in their apartment building. *clop-clop-clop-clop* They get into a taxi-cab. *err…err….err* They get to the airport. They go through security. *beep-beep-beep-beep* And all that stuff, you know? They get on the plane. *woosh* Now they’re in Africa. They get off the plane. They get on a little plane. *pt..pt…pt…pt* They fly over this tiny little village. The get off the tiny little plane, and there’s this Jeep waiting right there for them – with their name on it. So, they get in the Jeep. *zh-zhoom* And they start driving down the road. They’re going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…They’re seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. Then, they get to this little pygmy village. So, they get out and ask the pygmies, “What is something just great to see here, where we are?” They say, “Well, our rather hit attraction would be a pink gorilla.” “A pink gorilla?! No way! You’re totally lying!” The pygmies are like, “No, actually you just go down this road, take a left turn, then turn right into a big cave.” So, they get back in the Jeep (which starts right up). *zhoom* So they’re going down the road; they’re going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…They’re seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. They make their left turn. They’re still going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…They’re seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. They get to this cave! It’s got this giant steel door. So they open the steel door. There’s this big wooden door. They open the wooden door. There’s another wooden door. They open that wooden door. There’s this long row of colored doors – orange, purple, pink, chartreuse, salmon, every color you could ever think of. So, they start going through all these doors. They’re going open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close. They get through all the doors. There’s a big pool of water, and right next to it is some scuba gear. So they put on the scuba gear and dive in. So, they’re swimming….swim, swim, swim…..deep water…..swim, swim, swim….very deep water….swim, swim, swim….very, very deep water….Finally, they see another way out, so they swim towards that and get out of the water. They see the pink gorilla! And all it’s doing is sitting there, completely still. And so, they’re observing the pink gorilla. They’re taking pictures of it. They’re writing down every move he makes – which isn’t very many ’cause all he’s doing is sitting there, completely still. It’s kinda boring, but hey – it’s a pink gorilla! The entire time they’re watching the pink gorilla, there’s one little thing the pygmies said that keeps flashing through they’re mind. “Don’t touch the pink gorilla.” Now, they’re like, “Why can’t we touch the pink gorilla? All he’s doing is sitting there, completely still.” But, the Historian was rather smart. The Anthropologist, on the other hand, was like I wish I could get my hands on this thing. I could make a lot of money! So, the Anthropologist walks up and he’s about to touch the pink gorilla. And the other guy grabs his hand and says, “No! You heard what the pygmies said, ‘Don’t touch the pink gorilla.’” But, the Anthropologist is just like, “What could it do?” The Historian manages to talk him out of touching it, and they keep taking pictures and writing notes about it’s behavior – but there aren’t very many ’cause all it’s doing is sitting there, completely still. Finally, they’re ready to leave. They put the scuba gear back on, and get back in the water. So, they’re swimming again….swim, swim, swim…..very, very deep water…..swim, swim, swim….very deep water….swim, swim, swim….deep water….Finally, they see original surface, so they swim towards that and get out of the water. They start going through all the colored doors – orange, purple, pink, chartreuse, salmon, every color you could ever think of. So, they start going through all these doors. They’re going open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open and close wooden door, open and close second wooden door, open and close steel door. They get in the Jeep, and it starts right up. *zhoom* They’re going down the road; they’re going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…They’re seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. They make their turn. They’re still going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…They’re seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. They go through the pygmy village. They get to the little airport, get on the little plane. *pt..pt…pt…pt* It takes them to the bigger airport; they get on the bigger plane. *woosh* They get to back to the airport near home. They hail in a cab. They get in the cab. *err…err….err* They go up the stairs in the apartment building. *clop-clop-clop-clop* They’re home!

Well, the next semester, the Anthropologist, who is the more gutsy of the two, is awarded another sabbatical. So, in his devious mind he’s thinking haha! I’m going to return to Africa, capture the pink gorilla, and make millions of dollars!
So, he goes running down the stairs in the apartment building. *clop-clop-clop-clop* He gets into a taxi-cab. *err…err….err* He gets to the airport. He goes through security. *beep-beep-beep-beep* And all that stuff, you know? He gets on the plane. *woosh* Now he’s in Africa. He gets off the plane. He gets on a little plane. *pt..pt…pt…pt* He flies over this tiny little village. He gets off the tiny little plane, and there’s this Jeep waiting right there for him – with his name on it. So, he gets in the Jeep. *zh-zhoom* And he starts driving down the road. He’s going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. He goes straight past the pygmy village. After all, he already knows where he’s going. So he’s going down the road; he’s going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. He makes the left turn. He’s still going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. He gets to the cave! He opens the steel door. He opens the big wooden door. He opens the second wooden door. He goes through all the colored doors – orange, purple, pink, chartreuse, salmon, every color you could ever think of. So, he’s going through all these doors. He’s going open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close. He gets through all the doors. He puts on the scuba gear and dives into the water. So, he’s swimming….swim, swim, swim…..deep water…..swim, swim, swim….very deep water….swim, swim, swim….very, very deep water….He gets out of the water. Okay…I’ve got to get this thing out of here. So, he reaches out towards the gorilla. The whole time the pygmies’ warning is playing in the back of his mind. Don’t touch the pink gorilla. He hesitates. And the he touches the pink gorilla! The pink gorilla goes mad. He’s like tearing the place apart! The guy screams. So, he throws on the scuba gear and jumps back into the water…..swim, swim, swim…..very, very deep water…..swim, swim, swim….very deep water….swim, swim, swim….deep water….The pink gorilla’s swimming behind him! Finally, he gets out of the water. He starts going through all the colored doors – orange, purple, pink, chartreuse, salmon, every color you could ever think of. So, he’s going through all these doors. He’s going open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open and close wooden door, open and close second wooden door, open and close steel door. The pink gorilla is just bashing through all the doors. He jumps in the Jeep, and it starts right up. *zhoom* He’s going down the road; he’s going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…he’s seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. The pink gorilla is just running along right behind him. He makes the turn. The gorilla turns, too. He’s still going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…he’s seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. The pink gorilla is just running along right behind him. They go through the pygmy village. The pygmies are like, “haha! We told you not to touch it!” He’s still going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…he’s seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of – including a pink gorilla in the rear-view mirror. The pink gorilla is just running along right behind him. And all of sudden…the car sputters to a stop. So the guy jumps out of the car and starts running. He’s going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…he’s seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. The pink gorilla is running along right behind him going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…Finally, the guy collapses. He just can’t run any farther. He’s just like, “Whatever you do, just kill me quickly.” The gorilla walks up to him, reaches down, touches the guy, and says, “Tag! You’re it!” and runs off down the road....... There's no character limit, is there?

...

http://gathering.bluedaffodil.net/index.php?s=8b4f6df57474a7d6fe0ce9d39aa2da6f&showtopic=43903&pid=458601&st=0&#entry458601

KiLLErMaN99 wrote:

Fleshandbone wrote:

This is the story of the pink gorilla. There’s these two guys. They’re both teachers, and they work at the same school. One is an Anthropology teacher. The other is a Historian. They are both given a sabbatical. For those of you who don’t know, a sabbatical is a paid vacation for teachers. They are paid to take time off teaching, but they have to do research to better their knowledge, to better their teaching. Got it? Good. So, both teachers are given a sabbatical. And, they’re very good friends. So, they decide, on this sabbatical they will travel to far reaches of Africa to do some History research and some Anthropology research (Anthropology is the study of human nature). They decide that’s what they’re going to do. So, they go running down the stairs in their apartment building. *clop-clop-clop-clop* They get into a taxi-cab. *err…err….err* They get to the airport. They go through security. *beep-beep-beep-beep* And all that stuff, you know? They get on the plane. *woosh* Now they’re in Africa. They get off the plane. They get on a little plane. *pt..pt…pt…pt* They fly over this tiny little village. The get off the tiny little plane, and there’s this Jeep waiting right there for them – with their name on it. So, they get in the Jeep. *zh-zhoom* And they start driving down the road. They’re going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…They’re seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. Then, they get to this little pygmy village. So, they get out and ask the pygmies, “What is something just great to see here, where we are?” They say, “Well, our rather hit attraction would be a pink gorilla.” “A pink gorilla?! No way! You’re totally lying!” The pygmies are like, “No, actually you just go down this road, take a left turn, then turn right into a big cave.” So, they get back in the Jeep (which starts right up). *zhoom* So they’re going down the road; they’re going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…They’re seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. They make their left turn. They’re still going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…They’re seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. They get to this cave! It’s got this giant steel door. So they open the steel door. There’s this big wooden door. They open the wooden door. There’s another wooden door. They open that wooden door. There’s this long row of colored doors – orange, purple, pink, chartreuse, salmon, every color you could ever think of. So, they start going through all these doors. They’re going open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close. They get through all the doors. There’s a big pool of water, and right next to it is some scuba gear. So they put on the scuba gear and dive in. So, they’re swimming….swim, swim, swim…..deep water…..swim, swim, swim….very deep water….swim, swim, swim….very, very deep water….Finally, they see another way out, so they swim towards that and get out of the water. They see the pink gorilla! And all it’s doing is sitting there, completely still. And so, they’re observing the pink gorilla. They’re taking pictures of it. They’re writing down every move he makes – which isn’t very many ’cause all he’s doing is sitting there, completely still. It’s kinda boring, but hey – it’s a pink gorilla! The entire time they’re watching the pink gorilla, there’s one little thing the pygmies said that keeps flashing through they’re mind. “Don’t touch the pink gorilla.” Now, they’re like, “Why can’t we touch the pink gorilla? All he’s doing is sitting there, completely still.” But, the Historian was rather smart. The Anthropologist, on the other hand, was like I wish I could get my hands on this thing. I could make a lot of money! So, the Anthropologist walks up and he’s about to touch the pink gorilla. And the other guy grabs his hand and says, “No! You heard what the pygmies said, ‘Don’t touch the pink gorilla.’” But, the Anthropologist is just like, “What could it do?” The Historian manages to talk him out of touching it, and they keep taking pictures and writing notes about it’s behavior – but there aren’t very many ’cause all it’s doing is sitting there, completely still. Finally, they’re ready to leave. They put the scuba gear back on, and get back in the water. So, they’re swimming again….swim, swim, swim…..very, very deep water…..swim, swim, swim….very deep water….swim, swim, swim….deep water….Finally, they see original surface, so they swim towards that and get out of the water. They start going through all the colored doors – orange, purple, pink, chartreuse, salmon, every color you could ever think of. So, they start going through all these doors. They’re going open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open and close wooden door, open and close second wooden door, open and close steel door. They get in the Jeep, and it starts right up. *zhoom* They’re going down the road; they’re going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…They’re seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. They make their turn. They’re still going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…They’re seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. They go through the pygmy village. They get to the little airport, get on the little plane. *pt..pt…pt…pt* It takes them to the bigger airport; they get on the bigger plane. *woosh* They get to back to the airport near home. They hail in a cab. They get in the cab. *err…err….err* They go up the stairs in the apartment building. *clop-clop-clop-clop* They’re home!

Well, the next semester, the Anthropologist, who is the more gutsy of the two, is awarded another sabbatical. So, in his devious mind he’s thinking haha! I’m going to return to Africa, capture the pink gorilla, and make millions of dollars!
So, he goes running down the stairs in the apartment building. *clop-clop-clop-clop* He gets into a taxi-cab. *err…err….err* He gets to the airport. He goes through security. *beep-beep-beep-beep* And all that stuff, you know? He gets on the plane. *woosh* Now he’s in Africa. He gets off the plane. He gets on a little plane. *pt..pt…pt…pt* He flies over this tiny little village. He gets off the tiny little plane, and there’s this Jeep waiting right there for him – with his name on it. So, he gets in the Jeep. *zh-zhoom* And he starts driving down the road. He’s going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. He goes straight past the pygmy village. After all, he already knows where he’s going. So he’s going down the road; he’s going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. He makes the left turn. He’s still going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. He gets to the cave! He opens the steel door. He opens the big wooden door. He opens the second wooden door. He goes through all the colored doors – orange, purple, pink, chartreuse, salmon, every color you could ever think of. So, he’s going through all these doors. He’s going open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close. He gets through all the doors. He puts on the scuba gear and dives into the water. So, he’s swimming….swim, swim, swim…..deep water…..swim, swim, swim….very deep water….swim, swim, swim….very, very deep water….He gets out of the water. Okay…I’ve got to get this thing out of here. So, he reaches out towards the gorilla. The whole time the pygmies’ warning is playing in the back of his mind. Don’t touch the pink gorilla. He hesitates. And the he touches the pink gorilla! The pink gorilla goes mad. He’s like tearing the place apart! The guy screams. So, he throws on the scuba gear and jumps back into the water…..swim, swim, swim…..very, very deep water…..swim, swim, swim….very deep water….swim, swim, swim….deep water….The pink gorilla’s swimming behind him! Finally, he gets out of the water. He starts going through all the colored doors – orange, purple, pink, chartreuse, salmon, every color you could ever think of. So, he’s going through all these doors. He’s going open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open and close wooden door, open and close second wooden door, open and close steel door. The pink gorilla is just bashing through all the doors. He jumps in the Jeep, and it starts right up. *zhoom* He’s going down the road; he’s going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…he’s seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. The pink gorilla is just running along right behind him. He makes the turn. The gorilla turns, too. He’s still going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…he’s seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. The pink gorilla is just running along right behind him. They go through the pygmy village. The pygmies are like, “haha! We told you not to touch it!” He’s still going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…he’s seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of – including a pink gorilla in the rear-view mirror. The pink gorilla is just running along right behind him. And all of sudden…the car sputters to a stop. So the guy jumps out of the car and starts running. He’s going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…he’s seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. The pink gorilla is running along right behind him going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…Finally, the guy collapses. He just can’t run any farther. He’s just like, “Whatever you do, just kill me quickly.” The gorilla walks up to him, reaches down, touches the guy, and says, “Tag! You’re it!” and runs off down the road....... There's no character limit, is there?

...

http://gathering.bluedaffodil.net/index.php?s=8b4f6df57474a7d6fe0ce9d39aa2da6f&showtopic=43903&pid=458601&st=0&#entry458601

ya, its all over the internet.

Fleshandbone wrote:

KiLLErMaN99 wrote:

Fleshandbone wrote:

This is the story of the pink gorilla. There’s these two guys. They’re both teachers, and they work at the same school. One is an Anthropology teacher. The other is a Historian. They are both given a sabbatical. For those of you who don’t know, a sabbatical is a paid vacation for teachers. They are paid to take time off teaching, but they have to do research to better their knowledge, to better their teaching. Got it? Good. So, both teachers are given a sabbatical. And, they’re very good friends. So, they decide, on this sabbatical they will travel to far reaches of Africa to do some History research and some Anthropology research (Anthropology is the study of human nature). They decide that’s what they’re going to do. So, they go running down the stairs in their apartment building. *clop-clop-clop-clop* They get into a taxi-cab. *err…err….err* They get to the airport. They go through security. *beep-beep-beep-beep* And all that stuff, you know? They get on the plane. *woosh* Now they’re in Africa. They get off the plane. They get on a little plane. *pt..pt…pt…pt* They fly over this tiny little village. The get off the tiny little plane, and there’s this Jeep waiting right there for them – with their name on it. So, they get in the Jeep. *zh-zhoom* And they start driving down the road. They’re going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…They’re seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. Then, they get to this little pygmy village. So, they get out and ask the pygmies, “What is something just great to see here, where we are?” They say, “Well, our rather hit attraction would be a pink gorilla.” “A pink gorilla?! No way! You’re totally lying!” The pygmies are like, “No, actually you just go down this road, take a left turn, then turn right into a big cave.” So, they get back in the Jeep (which starts right up). *zhoom* So they’re going down the road; they’re going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…They’re seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. They make their left turn. They’re still going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…They’re seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. They get to this cave! It’s got this giant steel door. So they open the steel door. There’s this big wooden door. They open the wooden door. There’s another wooden door. They open that wooden door. There’s this long row of colored doors – orange, purple, pink, chartreuse, salmon, every color you could ever think of. So, they start going through all these doors. They’re going open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close. They get through all the doors. There’s a big pool of water, and right next to it is some scuba gear. So they put on the scuba gear and dive in. So, they’re swimming….swim, swim, swim…..deep water…..swim, swim, swim….very deep water….swim, swim, swim….very, very deep water….Finally, they see another way out, so they swim towards that and get out of the water. They see the pink gorilla! And all it’s doing is sitting there, completely still. And so, they’re observing the pink gorilla. They’re taking pictures of it. They’re writing down every move he makes – which isn’t very many ’cause all he’s doing is sitting there, completely still. It’s kinda boring, but hey – it’s a pink gorilla! The entire time they’re watching the pink gorilla, there’s one little thing the pygmies said that keeps flashing through they’re mind. “Don’t touch the pink gorilla.” Now, they’re like, “Why can’t we touch the pink gorilla? All he’s doing is sitting there, completely still.” But, the Historian was rather smart. The Anthropologist, on the other hand, was like I wish I could get my hands on this thing. I could make a lot of money! So, the Anthropologist walks up and he’s about to touch the pink gorilla. And the other guy grabs his hand and says, “No! You heard what the pygmies said, ‘Don’t touch the pink gorilla.’” But, the Anthropologist is just like, “What could it do?” The Historian manages to talk him out of touching it, and they keep taking pictures and writing notes about it’s behavior – but there aren’t very many ’cause all it’s doing is sitting there, completely still. Finally, they’re ready to leave. They put the scuba gear back on, and get back in the water. So, they’re swimming again….swim, swim, swim…..very, very deep water…..swim, swim, swim….very deep water….swim, swim, swim….deep water….Finally, they see original surface, so they swim towards that and get out of the water. They start going through all the colored doors – orange, purple, pink, chartreuse, salmon, every color you could ever think of. So, they start going through all these doors. They’re going open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open and close wooden door, open and close second wooden door, open and close steel door. They get in the Jeep, and it starts right up. *zhoom* They’re going down the road; they’re going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…They’re seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. They make their turn. They’re still going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…They’re seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. They go through the pygmy village. They get to the little airport, get on the little plane. *pt..pt…pt…pt* It takes them to the bigger airport; they get on the bigger plane. *woosh* They get to back to the airport near home. They hail in a cab. They get in the cab. *err…err….err* They go up the stairs in the apartment building. *clop-clop-clop-clop* They’re home!

Well, the next semester, the Anthropologist, who is the more gutsy of the two, is awarded another sabbatical. So, in his devious mind he’s thinking haha! I’m going to return to Africa, capture the pink gorilla, and make millions of dollars!
So, he goes running down the stairs in the apartment building. *clop-clop-clop-clop* He gets into a taxi-cab. *err…err….err* He gets to the airport. He goes through security. *beep-beep-beep-beep* And all that stuff, you know? He gets on the plane. *woosh* Now he’s in Africa. He gets off the plane. He gets on a little plane. *pt..pt…pt…pt* He flies over this tiny little village. He gets off the tiny little plane, and there’s this Jeep waiting right there for him – with his name on it. So, he gets in the Jeep. *zh-zhoom* And he starts driving down the road. He’s going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. He goes straight past the pygmy village. After all, he already knows where he’s going. So he’s going down the road; he’s going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. He makes the left turn. He’s still going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. He gets to the cave! He opens the steel door. He opens the big wooden door. He opens the second wooden door. He goes through all the colored doors – orange, purple, pink, chartreuse, salmon, every color you could ever think of. So, he’s going through all these doors. He’s going open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close. He gets through all the doors. He puts on the scuba gear and dives into the water. So, he’s swimming….swim, swim, swim…..deep water…..swim, swim, swim….very deep water….swim, swim, swim….very, very deep water….He gets out of the water. Okay…I’ve got to get this thing out of here. So, he reaches out towards the gorilla. The whole time the pygmies’ warning is playing in the back of his mind. Don’t touch the pink gorilla. He hesitates. And the he touches the pink gorilla! The pink gorilla goes mad. He’s like tearing the place apart! The guy screams. So, he throws on the scuba gear and jumps back into the water…..swim, swim, swim…..very, very deep water…..swim, swim, swim….very deep water….swim, swim, swim….deep water….The pink gorilla’s swimming behind him! Finally, he gets out of the water. He starts going through all the colored doors – orange, purple, pink, chartreuse, salmon, every color you could ever think of. So, he’s going through all these doors. He’s going open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open, close, open and close wooden door, open and close second wooden door, open and close steel door. The pink gorilla is just bashing through all the doors. He jumps in the Jeep, and it starts right up. *zhoom* He’s going down the road; he’s going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…he’s seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. The pink gorilla is just running along right behind him. He makes the turn. The gorilla turns, too. He’s still going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…he’s seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. The pink gorilla is just running along right behind him. They go through the pygmy village. The pygmies are like, “haha! We told you not to touch it!” He’s still going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…he’s seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of – including a pink gorilla in the rear-view mirror. The pink gorilla is just running along right behind him. And all of sudden…the car sputters to a stop. So the guy jumps out of the car and starts running. He’s going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…he’s seeing all sorts of animals – elephants, giraffes, zebras, every kind of animal you could think of. The pink gorilla is running along right behind him going up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down…Finally, the guy collapses. He just can’t run any farther. He’s just like, “Whatever you do, just kill me quickly.” The gorilla walks up to him, reaches down, touches the guy, and says, “Tag! You’re it!” and runs off down the road....... There's no character limit, is there?

...

http://gathering.bluedaffodil.net/index.php?s=8b4f6df57474a7d6fe0ce9d39aa2da6f&showtopic=43903&pid=458601&st=0&#entry458601

ya, its all over the internet.

Alright. Hop in the chatroom.

K I have a shorter one.


What's a ghost's favorite sandwich?


BOOloney!!!

FootNinja wrote:

rofl i accutally cracked up at that hahaha

Corney jokes have subliminal ways of making you laugh.

haha yer thats true

why did the chicken cross the road??

to get to the other side

roflmfao!!!

FootNinja wrote:

haha yer thats true

why did the chicken cross the road??

to get to the other side

roflmfao!!!

Thats an old one, but okay.

i know but eh nvm

ummm....

How do you wake up lady GaGa?

poke here face ( her song )

How many of Santa's elves does it take to make a bean bag chair?

Six if you stuff em' in REAL tight.

FootNinja wrote:

i know but eh nvm

ummm....

How do you wake up lady GaGa?

poke here face ( her song )

Fleshandbone wrote:

How many of Santa's elves does it take to make a bean bag chair?

Six if you stuff em' in REAL tight.

FootNinja wrote:

i know but eh nvm

ummm....

How do you wake up lady GaGa?

poke here face ( her song )

lololol thats was a good 1. didnt get at first but do now lol

Man1: "guns don't kill, people do."

Man2: "nooooo, guns kill, stupid. >.>"

Fleshandbone wrote:

Man1: "guns don't kill, people do."

Man2: "nooooo, guns kill, stupid. >.>"

lolz took me awhile to get that one lol

FootNinja wrote:

Fleshandbone wrote:

Man1: "guns don't kill, people do."

Man2: "nooooo, guns kill, stupid. >.>"

lolz took me awhile to get that one lol

Ya, its not a very good joke, but I hate it when people say "guns don't kill".

There are two ice cubes in a Freezer. One says "boy its cold in here". The other says "OMG a talking ice cube!"






Is god man or woman?
god is both.
Is god black or white?
god is both.
Is god michael jackson?

^ That is offensive. But hilarious.

Wat did the owl say when one of his legs where shorter then the other....


NOT EVEN OWL!!

There are two computer nerds. One is on his laptop under the shade of a tree. The other is riding a brand new bike. the one under the tree is Guy 1

Guy1: Nice new ike. Where did you get it.

Guy2, who is a quite attractive fellow, repllies: I was riding my old bike, when a girls rides up to me, gets off her bike, takes off her clothes, and says 'You can have whatever you want.' So I took her bike.

Gr33n wrote:

There are two computer nerds. One is on his laptop under the shade of a tree. The other is riding a brand new bike. the one under the tree is Guy 1

Guy1: Nice new ike. Where did you get it.

Guy2, who is a quite attractive fellow, repllies: I was riding my old bike, when a girls rides up to me, gets off her bike, takes off her clothes, and says 'You can have whatever you want.' So I took her bike.

Gr33n wrote:

There are two computer nerds. One is on his laptop under the shade of a tree. The other is riding a brand new bike. the one under the tree is Guy 1

Guy1: Nice new ike. Where did you get it.

Guy2, who is a quite attractive fellow, repllies: I was riding my old bike, when a girls rides up to me, gets off her bike, takes off her clothes, and says 'You can have whatever you want.' So I took her bike.

LOL! That's one of the funniest one's I've heard.

Yo mama's soo old I slapped her back her boobs fell


Why was the Unicorn Fapping?

Spoiler:

harr darr harr

johnpogi wrote:

Yo mama's soo old I slapped her back her boobs fell


Why was the Unicorn Fapping?

Spoiler:

harr darr harr

LOL

Yo momma so ugly she went to a strip club and they paid her to keep her clothes ON.